Silly Squad
by Windrises
Summary: A parody of Suicide Squad.


Note: Suicide Squad and DC are not owned and created by me. I love the Suicide Squad film, but I even enjoy making fun of stuff that I love.

Amanda Waller started a meeting with some generic guys. Amanda said "I have a brilliant idea. Lets get the world's most dangerous criminals for my sneaky schemes."

Generic guy # 1 said "I'm not so sure if that's a good idea."

Amanda said "If you say no then this film can't happen."

Generic Guy # 2 said "Okay."

Generic guy # 1 said "Who are the members?"

Amanda said "First up is Will Smith um I mean Deadshot."

Meanwhile Deadshot was walking around the city with his daughter. Suddenly Batman showed up. Deadshot said "Batman why are you here?"

Batman said "Because you can't have a good DC film without me."

Deadshot said "Do you have to fight me now? I'm with my kid."

Batman said "I don't care. I'm going to beat you up hard."

Deadshot was about to destroy Batman. Deadshot's daughter said "Please don't destroy Ben Affleck."

Deadshot sighed and said "Fine."

Batman smiled and said "We should always fight while you are with my daughter. That way I can win easier." Batman beat up Deadshot and had him sent back to Arkham Asylum.

Amanda said "Our next character um I mean team member is Harley Quinn."

Flashback scene: Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a smart doctor at Arkham Asylum, but she got a big crush on the Joker so she became his helper. Harley Quinn and the Joker went to a chemical place. Harley Quinn said "What are we doing here?"

The Joker said "I'm going to put you into the same dangerous chemicals that made me crazy."

Harley Quinn said "Aw. You're sweet." Harley Quinn went into inside of a container of dangerous chemicals.

A minute later the Joker went inside of the chemicals container too.

Harley Quinn said "Aw. Did you come to save me?"

The Joker said "Actually I'm looking for a comic book I dropped in here a few years ago."

Meanwhile Harley Quinn was with the Joker. Harley Quinn looked at herself in the mirror and said "How come I'm not dressed like a clown? I don't even have a mask."

The Joker said "You look prettier without a mask."

Second flashback: Harley Quinn and the Joker were at a fancy club that the Joker owned. Harley Quinn said "How has Batman and the police not found out that you own a club?"

The Joker said "Lex Luthor is my only advertising sponsor." The Joker pointed to a guy.

The unnamed guy said "How can I help you?"

The Joker pointed to Harley Quinn and said "That's my girlfriend."

The guy said "Congratulations."

The Joker said "She sure is pretty. You think so don't you?"

The guy said "I don't want to offend you."

The Joker smiled and said "I won't get offended. Compliment her."

The guy said "She is beautiful."

The Joker angrily said "How dare you flirt with my girlfriend." The Joker shot the poor guy.

Harley Quinn said "Why did you do that?"

The Joker said "He made the mistake of doing what I wanted him to do."

After the flashbacks Harley Quinn and the Joker were in the Joker's car. Suddenly Batman started chasing after them in the Batmobile. Harley Quinn said "Batman why do you always have to steal my spotlight? This is my first live action film. Do you have to be in every DC film?"

Batman said "Yes. Any DC film that doesn't have me is bad."

Harley Quinn said "Joker I'm hoping that you are a good driver."

The Joker said "Don't worry. I'm a great driver." The Joker accidentally drove into a river. Harley and the Joker started drowning.

Batman jumped in and saved Harley. Batman gave Harley mouth to mouth resuscitation to Harley. Harley said "Aren't you going to save the Joker?"

Batman said "No."

Harley Quinn said "It would be heroic if you saved him."

Batman said "I'm a heroic guy. I'm going to do something heroic right now." Batman shot a guy who robbed a dollar store.

Amanda said "Those are the team members."

Generic guy # 1 said "What about the other team members?"

Amanda said "Oh. There is also the Enchantress. Here she is."

June Moore walked up to them and transformed into the Enchantress. The Enchantress said "I'm going to use my powers to rule the world."

Generic guy # 1 said "But aren't you supposed to help the world?"

Amanda said "She is going to be the villain of the film."

Generic guy # 2 said "Spoiler alert."

Amanda said "There are a few other team members, but they don't do much and nobody cares about them. So do you agree to let me start this evil and dangerous team?"

The generic guys said "Yes."

Rick Flag was given the job to keep control of the Suicide Squad. Rick Flag said "Attention criminals. I'm going to be the character who doesn't trust you at first, but I will become your friend later for plot convenience."

Deadshot said "Your speech sucked."

Rick sarcastically said "Thank you."

Deadshot said "You could be nicer."

Rick said "This is a dangerous mission and you are criminals. You probably won't survive this."

Deadshot said "So this is a Suicide Squad?"

Harley Quinn said "Film title." Harley Quinn noticed that the others were looking at her. Harley said "What's going on?"

Deadshot said "You're hot."

Rick slapped Deadshot and said "Be respectful."

Deadshot said "I mean you are hot like warm. It's a hot Summer day."

Harley said "I believe you."

Deadshot said "You are gullible."

El Diablo said "Hi. I'm the serious character."

Rick said "Hey. I'm supposed to be the serious character."

Captain Boomerang said "Hi. I'm the Flash's main villain."

The Flash ran by and said "Captain Cold is my main villain."

Captain Boomerang said "Shut up." The Flash ran away.

Killer Croc said "Hi. I'm Killer Croc."

Harley Quinn said "Wow. This is the first live action film to have both me and you in it."

Killer Croc said "Don't get excited. I'm a minor character."

Slipknot said "Not as minor as me."

Rick said "Lets get going."

Katana showed up out of nowhere and said "Here I am."

Deadshot said "Who is that girl?"

Rick said "That's Katana."

Harley Quinn said "Is there anything that we should know about her?"

Rick said "No. She doesn't do anything."

The team went on a mission. Captain Boomerang walked up to Slipknot and said "What is your name?"

Slipknot said "I'm -" Suddenly Slipknot got shot.

Captain Boomerang sarcastically said "Oh no. Such a interesting and important character got shot."

The other characters started fighting some eccentric creatures. Rick said "What are these things?"

Deadshot said "How would I know?"

Harley Quinn said "They look pretty normal to me."

Deadshot said "Well you are crazy."

Harley Quinn smiled and said "I'm DC's craziest character."

El Diablo said "Isn't your boyfriend crazier?"

Harley Quinn said "That's debatable."

Meanwhile the Joker was unaware that Harley Quinn was already out of Arkham Asylum. The Joker walked up to a guard and said "You better release her."

The guard said "Harley Quinn isn't in here."

The Joker got wide eyed and said "Are you sure about that?"

The guard said "I'm really sure bro."

The Joker said "Go into Harley Quinn's cell and check."

The guard said "Okay." The guard went inside of the cell. The Joker locked the guard in the cell. The guard said "Why did you do that?"

The Joker said "Because I'm evil and crazy. Ha, ha, ha!"

Meanwhile the Enchantress was in her lair. The Enchantress said "Soon I will rule the world, because being a villain is fun. I'm going to stop anybody who stands in my way." The Enchantress walked up to her creature assistants and said "Go threaten the city."

The Enchantress' brother said "Should we go try to get rid of Batman?"

The Enchantress said "No. This is the Suicide Squad film so only go after them."

The Enchantress' brother said "What are you going to do?"

The Enchantress said "I'm going to dance around like a weirdo. Ha, ha, ha!" The Enchantress started dancing around.

Meanwhile Amanda Waller sent Rick Flag to her office. Rick said "What do you want?"

Amanda said "I forgot to tell you that the Enchantress is the main villain of the film."

Rick angrily said "You should of told me that earlier in the film."

Amanda said "Oh be quiet."

Rick walked up to the Suicide Squad and said "I know who the villain of the film is."

Harley Quinn said "Is the Joker the villain?"

Rick said "No, but he will be in more scenes."

Harley Quinn said "That's cool."

Deadshot said "Who is the villain?"

Rick said "June Moore, also known as the Enchantress." Rick tried not to cry.

Deadshot said "Why are you crying?"

Rick said "I used to date June. She used to be a great woman before the Enchantress took over her."

Deadshot said "You need to be smart when choosing girlfriends."

Harley Quinn said "You have bad luck with romance."

Rick said "Well so do you."

Harley gently hit Rick and said "The Joker is a great boyfriend." Harley got a text from the Joker saying that he's going to be in a upcoming scene.

Suddenly more of the Enchantress' helpers showed up. Harley Quinn said "These clowns need a good old dose of Harley power."

Deadshot said "Did you just copy Scrappy-Doo?"

Harley Quinn said "Um no."

Deadshot said "Fire dude burn down the creatures."

El Diablo shook his head and said "I can't do that."

Captain Boomerang said "I will stop them." Captain Boomerang threw a boomerang at 1 of the creatures. The creature broke the boomerang. Captain Boomerang said "I'm out of plans."

Deadshot said "Fire dude you better use your powers right now."

El Diablo said "No."

Deadshot gently pushed El Diablo. El Diablo said "Okay. You convinced me to use my powers again." El Diablo used his fire power on the creatures.

Deadshot said "Good job you Human Torch ripoff."

The team went on top of a building. Suddenly the Joker showed up in his helicopter. The Joker was wearing a fancy tuxedo. Harley Quinn said "I'm so glad that you came back."

The Joker said "Of course I came back. I'm the star of the film. After all you and me are the only 2 villains in the film that people care about. Come with me."

Harley Quinn said "Okay." Harley started getting on the helicopter.

Amanda said "Get rid of this clown."

Deadshot said "What?"

Amanda said "Shoot Harley Quinn."

Deadshot said "Hey. I can't do that. Harley Quinn is 1 of my best friends."

Amanda said "You 2 have only been in a few scenes together."

Deadshot said "Despite that she is too important for me to get rid of."

Amanda said "If you shoot her I will make sure that your daughter goes to the best college."

Deadshot said "Then I will happily shoot her." Deadshot was going to shoot Harley Quinn, but Rick stopped him. Deadshot said "Why did you do that?"

Rick said "Harley Quinn is the most popular member of the Suicide Squad."

Deadshot said "Okay. We can't let any popular characters get shot."

Amanda said "Destroy the Joker."

The Joker said "Your silly sidekicks can't defeat a character as great as me." Suddenly there was bombs on the Joker's helicopter. The Joker said "Oh no." The Joker's helicopter blew up.

Harley Quinn said "My nice boyfriend is gone."

Deadshot said "The real problem is now that Joker Leto is out of the film nobody will like the rest of the film."

Killer Croc said "That's sad."

Meanwhile the Enchantress was in her lair. The Enchantress said "Now that prank boy is out of the film I get even more over the top stuff to do. Ha, ha, ha!" The Enchantress continued doing her weird dance moves.

2 of the Enchantress' helpers captured Amanda. The Enchantress said "Great job henchmen."

Amanda said "What are you going to do with me?"

The Enchantress said "I will force you to watch me rehearse my dancing all night. Ha, ha, ha!" Amanda facepalmed.

The team went to a bar. Harley Quinn said "What do you fellas want?"

Deadshot said "Drinks. Duh."

Harley Quinn said "Do you want a shot of a expired drink? That would be a real deadshot."

Rick said "I trust you now."

Harley Quinn said "Why do you suddenly trust us?"

Rick said "Because it's a silly film trope. After all you criminals aren't that evil."

Deadshot faced the audience watching the film and said "Don't forget that we are bad guys."

El Diablo said "What are you doing?"

Deadshot said "I'm letting the audience know some important information: We are bad guys, not good guys. We are the opposite of the Super Friends."

Rick handed Deadshot some letters and said "Your daughter has been sending you letters all year."

Deadshot angrily said "You should of let me know about this months ago. These letters are a important reminder of how much my daughter cares about me. I need these letters." Deadshot threw the letters in a garbage can.

Rick said "Why did you throw them away?"

Deadshot said "Well I love getting letters from my daughter, but I don't like reading them."

The team walked out of the bar. Harley Quinn said "How are we supposed to find the Enchantress' lair?"

Rick said "I will use Google maps to help us."

The team went to the Enchantress' lair. The Enchantress said "Welcome to the rise of evil and high quality dancing." The Enchantress showed off her dance moves.

Rick said "June I hate to be rude, but you don't look great as a freakish villain."

Deadshot said "What is up with your costume? It looks like a swimsuit."

The Enchantress said "How dare you mock my beautiful and stylish attire." The Enchantress continued dancing.

Harley Quinn said "Good dance moves girl."

The Enchantress said "Aw. Thank you sweet girl. You silly squad members should join me on my reign of villainy."

Deadshot said "What do you mean?"

While dancing chaotically the Enchantress said "You are already criminals. Increase your level of evilness by helping me get rid of the world. Ha, ha, ha!"

Deadshot said "Goofball we are not going to help you get rid of the world."

The Enchantress said "I will get rid of you. Brother take care of them."

The Enchantress' brother tried to fight the Suicide Squad, but El Diablo stopped him. The Enchantress said "Oh dear. My brother has been destroyed."

Captain Boomerang sarcastically said "Another beloved character is gone."

The Enchantress angrily danced and said "I will have all of you destroyed."

Harley Quinn used her baseball bat to hit the Enchantress. Harley said "Hole in one."

Rick said "That's not a baseball saying."

Harley Quinn said "Whatever."

Rick said "Deadshot to destroy the Enchantress you got to shoot her."

Deadshot said "The villain of this film can be defeated by 1 shot?"

Rick said "Yes."

Deadshot said "Okay." Deadshot shot the Enchantress.

The Enchantress said "Oh no. That shot defeated me. Now I can't rule the world. I was going to be the queen of the world and a award winning dancer."

Rick said "Great job Suicide Squad."

Captain Boomerang proudly said "Thank you."

Harley Quinn said "Hey. Me and Will Smith are the only ones who did anything useful."

Captain Boomerang said "I am really important."

Amanda walked up to the Suicide Squad and said "You are going back to Arkham Asylum."

Harley Quinn said "But we saved the world from dancer girl."

Amanda said "But you are criminals."

Deadshot looked at the audience and said "Like I said before **we are the bad guys.** "

Harley Quinn said "Why was that in bold?"

Deadshot said "So the audience doesn't forget that well hidden information."

The Suicide Squad members were sent back to Arkham Asylum. Harley Quinn said "I miss the Joker so much."

Suddenly the Joker broke into Arkham Asylum.

Harley Quinn said "How did you survive getting blown up?"

The Joker said "Who cares about the reason?"

The next night Bruce Wayne had a meeting with Amanda Waller. Bruce Wayne said "I know about the Suicide Squad. I think that you are up to something dangerous."

Amanda said "Why are you so curious about what I'm up to?"

Bruce said "Because I'm Batman. Um I mean I'm Daredevil. Anyways don't forget to watch the Justice League film."


End file.
